《為巴比祈禱》Prayers for Bobby

 

昨天晚上我終於在成功大學國際會議廳舉辦的性別講座中，

看到這部根據真人實事改編的電視電影《為巴比祈禱》，

放映結束後，很多人都禁不住頻頻拭淚，我也不例外。

 

飾演瑪莉‧葛瑞菲斯的雪歌妮薇佛在片中有極為精采的演出，她精準掌握前後心境的轉變，

就像大多數母親一樣，瑪莉無法接受兒子出櫃，用盡辦法希望巴比能回歸正途，然而事與願違，

她開始自責，最後在 Whitsell 牧師的協助下，瑪莉對於《聖經》中對於同性戀的批判有新的認識，

同時，透過支援團體（PFLAG，Parents,Families, & Friends for Lesbian and Gay ）找回自信，

故事的結尾，她與家人參加在舊金山舉辦的同志遊行，現在的她則為同志人權而繼續努力。

 

下面是瑪莉‧葛瑞菲斯在胡桃溪市議會中爭取設立驕傲日所發表的演說，字字句句感人至極：

Homosexuality is a sin. Homosexuals are doomed to spend eternity in hell.

同性戀是一種罪，同性戀者註定要在地獄中永受煎熬。

If they wanted to change, they could be healed of their evil ways.

如果他們想要改變，他們的邪惡行徑就會被治癒。

If they would turn away from temptation, they could be normal again

if only they would try and try harder if it doesn't work.

如果他們遠離誘惑，他們就會變回正常人，只要他們願意嘗試，如果這樣還行不通，那就繼續嘗試。

 These are all the things I said to my son Bobby when I found out he was gay.

以上是當我發現我的兒子－巴比是同性戀時所說的一些話。

 

 When he told me he was homosexual my world fell apart.

 I did everything I could to cure him of his sickness.

當他告訴我他是同性戀時，我的世界崩潰了。我窮盡所能只為了治好他的疾病。

 

Eight months ago my son jumped off a bridge and killed himself.

I deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people.

I see that everything I was taught and told was bigotry and de-humanizing slander.

八個月過後，我的兒子從天橋上跳下自殺，我深深地後悔自己對於同性戀認識盡是如此貧乏。

沒想到，自己的所學所知竟讓我成為一個盲從、摧毀人性的毀謗者。

If I had investigated beyond what I was told,

if I had just listened to my son when he poured his heart out to me

I would not be standing here today with you filled with regret.

如果我曾仔細審視過我所說的話，如果我曾經聆聽巴比發自內心的話語，

那麼我今天就不會帶著悔恨站在這裡！

I believe that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving spirit.

In God's eyes kindness and love are what it's all about.

我相信上帝對於巴比仁慈、寬容的靈魂是感到喜悅的，這也是上帝眼中最關切的事項。

 

I didn't know that each time I echoed eternal damnation for gay people each time

I referred to Bobby as sick and perverted and a danger to our children.

His self esteem and sense of worth were being destroyed.

And finally his spirit broke beyond repair.

我並不知道當我每次詛咒巴比是個病人、變態、對兒童造成威脅時，

他的自尊正一點一滴地被消磨殆盡，導致他的靈魂破碎且無法修補。

It was not God's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass and jumped

directly into the path of an eighteen-wheel truck which killed him instantly.

Bobby's death was the direct result of his parent's ignorance and fear of the word gay.

讓巴比爬上快速道路的天橋，一躍而下，被八輪卡車撞死的絕非上帝的旨意。

他父母對於同性戀的無知與懼怕，才是巴比的直接死因。

He wanted to be a writer.

His hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him but they were.

他想要成為一個作家，他的希望跟夢想原本可以不被奪走，但為時已晚。

 

There are children, like Bobby, sitting in your congregations.

Unknown to you they will be listening as you echo "amen"

and that will soon silence their prayers.

在你們的會眾間，或許有些孩子跟巴比一樣，

你可能不知道當你在禱告結束回應「阿門」時，這些孩子只能保持緘默。

Their prayers to God for understanding and acceptance and for your love but your hatred

and fear and ignorance of the word gay, will silence those prayers.

他們的祈禱是企求上帝的了解與接納以及你們的愛，

但是你們對於同性戀的憎恨、恐懼與無知，往往會讓這些人的祈禱鴉雀無聲。

So, before you echo "amen" in your home and place of worship.

Think. Think and remember a child is listening.

所以當你在家中或是教會回應「阿門」的時候，請想想或許有孩子正在傾聽！

 

 

 除了這段演說之外，瑪莉‧葛瑞菲斯還提到巴比的同性戀傾向是與生俱來的，

她特別使用了「CONCEPTION」（受孕）這個單字，

如果同性戀是自娘胎就形成的，那麼不妨順其自然，適性發展

與其拿這條的路會更崎嶇來威脅，還是讓他逆風而行吧！